


A Loving Hand

by KKGlinka



Category: Adventure Time
Genre: F/F, Parody, Reaction
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-01
Updated: 2013-04-01
Packaged: 2017-12-07 04:27:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/744250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KKGlinka/pseuds/KKGlinka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A response to 'A Glitch is a Glitch' that parodies bubbline.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Loving Hand

It was one of those lovely moonlit evenings that bubbline shippers favor using in their fic. Bubblegum Princess was doing sciency things that can't be described because the writer hasn't done any research and lacks a B.S. but suffice to say they were complicated, tedious and involved numbers and charts. She was also chewing on the back of her pencil and pretending it was a lollipop, but that isn't precisely relevant.

Right, so it was a charming, warm, sappy night full of firebugs who had gotten blown in by a strong summer wind from the Fire Kingdom and sometimes Princesss Bubblegum practiced her formidable martial skills by catching one with a pair of candysteel chopsticks she'd ordered from the Chinese Food Kingdom. There she was working and being ballyballoo when you know who invited herself in because all that junk about vampires needing permission to cross a threshold is bunk. Along with most other aspects of that mythology, really.

Marceline floated in trying to be romantic but she was nervous so she came across more like a heroin addict with a nervous tic. Though she'd bathed earlier that day, she'd also stopped to roll around in some garbage with her wolf friends and her clothes were mismatched by era but at least everything fit. And hey, she was wearing clothes, so the princess couldn't get too angry over scandalized candy citizens who saw bits they didn't recognize and were frightened by them.

"Hey," Marceline interrupted, trying to go for sultry and not realizing it came out as a petulant whine.

"Go away before I shoot you. Stake you. Whatever," Princess Bubblegum replied without turning to look at her newest pest. She wanted to put glass in the windows but then Ice King would break them all so there was no point.

"But I wanna make out."

"You know what? Fine. If that will make you leave so I can get back to work, we'll make out," the princess relented suddenly, spinning around and raising her safety goggles and pulling off her welding gloves. Because she hadn't actually been doing anything with numbers or charts (the writer did not forget).

"Uh," said Marceline, because she was always such a smooth talker.

"Did you change your mind?"

"No!" Marceline assured hastily, landing on the floor (feet first) to demonstrate good manners and avoid putting a crick in the princess' neck. Also, she was startled.

"Well, hurry up," Princess Bubblegum goaded impatiently because her robot of mild destruction wasn't going to build itself, dinner was at seven, the Archduke of Silly Songs was due at eight and Cinnamon Bun was probably still stuck in that tree.

"Um, okay. You want me to...? I guess I should...." Marceline mumbled in a sexy fashion when the princess didn't make any move to initiate. So she closed her eyes, triggered a moment of cognitive dissonance and started being a don juan even though her characterization thus far wouldn't support that.

Taking the princess gently by her shoulder, one hand to the back of her head, Marceline tilted her head for a kiss. The tension was so thick she actually had trouble breathing though that might have been a firebug in her nose. It was hard to tell. She parted her lips, bracing herself and hurked.

Princess Bubblegum stuck her hand in Marceline's mouth and looked at her expectantly.

Marceline shapeshifted her mouth and jaw until it was a cavernous maw of teeth and talked around the hand, "Wha're 'ou 'doing?"

She'd been around and gotten pervy with a whole lot of folks over the centuries (something a lot of people seemed not to consider). She'd gotten it on with rock giants, dragons, teeny tiny bats, wolves (of course) and a wide variety of sort of human people. Oh, and some actual humans too, before they started dying off and mutating to the point of being, well, mutants. So she knew that different critters had different ideas of sex but she also knew that Princess Bubblegum could be a real prat.

"Making out," the princess answered primly.

"Ge' 'our 'and ou'a 'y 'ouf."

"But that's how you make out," the princess insisted mildly as if slightly perplexed but it was hard to tell if she was frowning or if those were left over dents from her safety goggles.

"Nuh uh," Marceline contradicted, starting to drool because it was impossible to keep your mouth open for a long time and not drool. " ' our 'uckin' 'if me."

"I'm not 'fucking' with you, grandma. You obviously don't know what to do, not that I'm surprised," Princess Bubblegum sneered, pulling her hand free and wiping it on her lab coat. "So why don't you leave me alone and let me work," she bit out, leaning into Marceline's face with complete disregard for all those shark's teeth.

Knowing when she'd been defeated by sheer ignorance, Marceline slunk back home and then went on a road trip because that was how they broke up (even though they hadn't even been dating).

The End (until Adventure Time began airing).


End file.
